Oh, what I wish I would have known growing up. What was wrong with me? I always wondered that growing up. I always felt so different. Especially while I was in school; thrust into social situations in which most kids were just trying to fit in and be liked. There’s a part of me that wishes I could have known the things I do now as far as self-love, recognizing assumptions and beliefs, etc. at a much earlier age. However, recognizing that experiences were all part of the journey that led me to this point in my life softens the blow of the struggles and hardships endured.
Early on in my life, I loved to write. For the longest time, I thought I would grow up to be a journalist. I’m happy that didn’t happen but the desire to write has always been a part of me. Somewhere along the line, I was self-derailed; getting lost in anxiety and depression, struggling to find purpose when really it was with me all along.
Once I Was Lost
The feeling of being lost led to chasing love, validation, and acceptance from others. Plagued with insecurities, it was difficult to truly love myself. Although deep down I had a sense of self-confidence that one day I would find my purpose and be the woman I knew deep down inside that I was. It’s difficult to put into words how it felt to feel so lost yet have a deep, deep inner conviction that it wasn’t truly who I was. I wrote a blog post on the fact that it felt like having multiple personalities at times. Thankfully, I no longer deal with anxiety or depression. I no longer seek validation and I have truly learned to love myself.
Seeking validation and love elsewhere instead of looking inward leads nowhere. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and rejection if I had realized this early on in life. Sometimes we learn the hard lessons though and when we do, they show us just who we really are.
Don’t Lose Yourself
Don’t ever lose yourself so much so that you can’t find your way back. That includes losing yourself in others to find love or validation. Don’t give up a sense of independence that you know will lead you to your goals. Most of all, don’t lose your voice to join the masses. Sit in silence as often as possible. Observe your thoughts; let go of the ones that don’t match the ideal you, your ideal life, your vision, and goals. Let them go because they are a bi-product of things you’ve been told, seen, and learned your whole life. I wish I would have known this.
Stop looking for happiness from other people or in things. Do the work of searching within. Once you learn to love yourself and observe your thoughts, letting go of the ones that no longer serve you, a new you will manifest, and you’ll wonder where the old you went. The power is yours. Now go find yourself, love yourself, and create the life you want and live your purpose.